how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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