i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
