I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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