Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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