I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize