Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A+ Viking dick
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
