I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize