Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
