watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
