We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
