Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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