a queef is a wish your heart makes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
