I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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