OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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