one might say we're banned from that church
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
