3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
