And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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