White coat. Heels.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
