JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
