Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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