my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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