you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
