No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
