I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
