Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
