Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
