i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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