i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
