Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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