Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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