sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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