Well douche your snatch and let's go!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
