Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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