google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize