Im at strip club and am horny
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i've created a new STD.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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