i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
