Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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