Are we in a gay sports bar?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
