It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
