I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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