i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So here I am, sexting at work.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
