you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
