My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
