Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
