hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
