i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
