I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
