Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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