When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
