I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
