I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
