laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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