Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
