Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize