i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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