playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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